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Stages of Grief

Sometimes, the grief creeps its way up though my body until it reaches my chest. Suddenly, I feel like a hand wraps around my heart and crushes it with an almighty force. My throat closes and I can’t breathe.

This is what grief looks and feels like for me. … More Stages of Grief

The Speech

When Isaac was just over four months old, he was baptised in the Catholic Church. I am not religious, but my husband Craig was raised Catholic and it was important to him and his family, so I agreed. Truth be told, despite my initial hesitation, it was a lovely day. We held the ceremony in … More The Speech

The Losses That Define Me

On 4 August 2020, I lived through something that defies comprehension – the Beirut explosion, which destroyed most of the city and took with it the life of my two-year-old son, Isaac. I can recall the moment when the scale of what we had lived through, and lost, in the Beirut explosion really started to dawn on … More The Losses That Define Me

Awake at Night

Ever since I started writing about my grief for Isaac, the response has been overwhelming. I have been contacted by so many people showing support and sharing their own stories of loss. I also had the honour of being contacted by Melissa Fleming, the head of United Nations global communications. Melissa invited me to be … More Awake at Night

Once a Mother, Always a Mother

How do you continue to parent your child after they have died? One of the first things I noticed after the death of Isaac was the silence. The past two years had been filled with laughter, music and the occasional tantrum. Then all of a sudden, it was just so quiet… Isaac was an outgoing, … More Once a Mother, Always a Mother

Five Months

Five months ago, my son died. As I write these words and read them over and over again, they are so incomprehensible that they might as well be in a foreign language. Again and again I read them, unable to grasp that they relate to me, that they form part of my story. These words … More Five Months

Fearless Girl

Failure is a feeling long before it becomes an actual result. It’s vulnerability that breeds with self-doubt and then is escalated, often deliberately, by fear (Michelle Obama, Becoming). I was super confident when I was in high school. In fact , I was Miss Susie High School. You know, the annoying over-achiever type. President of the … More Fearless Girl

How to Talk About Miscarriage

One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. Almost every article I have read about miscarriages, and believe me I have read a lot, mention that statistic somewhere in the first few lines. But I think it bears repeating – one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. The reason I think it is worth emphasising is … More How to Talk About Miscarriage

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